Family Values

What Has Changed?

At a family weekend, the following conversation came out. “It’s lovely to see all the kids running around enjoying themselves. I remember the time when we played and the collected grandparents all sat around like we are now. Now we’re the grey generation.” “Difference is that in the old days, they would be disapproving.” We all agreed. Smiled and turned to whichever grandchild had run into the middle of us – giggling and squirming because at least one ‘tickling finger’ was approaching his or her ribs.

I remember well the days when children were supposed to be seen but not heard; when the approval of our grandparents and other elderly relatives was of paramount importance – not to us but to our parents as approval from the older generation proved that they had raised their kids “properly”. In those days the older generation rarely seemed to smile – unless it was our own Grandma who, of course, doted on us – strict but still doting. Babies were definitely kept out of sight and other small to medium sized kids were strictly supervised in a quiet corner.

So, what has changed? Many things I suspect, from attitudes and tolerance, to the entire way of life. We still talk about the “good old days” – days of long ago when things seemed to be so much better than now. Simpler days when a toy was a simple wooden soldier or a car with just three wheels left on it – treasured toys. I think the good old days are a complete myth now – or are they? Life was harder then and transport was at a premium. Medicine was not so available as now. For our entertainment, we went to live events. Live football matches, live entertainment in theatres. We went to the park to play or we simply played in the streets because there were no cars around to run us down.

But were they really the good old days? Grandpa had to work all the hours he could. Blessings could be counted quite quickly – there were not so many perceived then as now. I think perhaps that we now have far more blessings and I ask if we have become so blasé about them that we have lost some of our appreciation. I think the main thing we have lost is that almost ephemeral thing known as “family values”. Everything we did, we did as a family. Everywhere we went, we went as a family. Nowadays, Mum and Dad are reduced to weekend taxi drivers. Nowadays we no longer sit around the family table for our meals – we grab them on the run. In the old days, we went to church as a family too. Nowadays, I can only speak for my own family, we go to church for “hatch, match, and dispatch”. That’s births, marriage, and funerals to the uninitiated. My wife and I are the rarities in our family over this side of the pond. The vast majority have long since ceased going to church unless they have to – unless they have a ‘reason for going’. You could even say we are less hypocritical about it these days.

To our shame, we seem to have lost or discarded those values our parents, and particularly our grandparents had. We no longer revere God. We no longer respect our traditions. Each has gone to his own way and each listens to whoever tickles our own ears. If we could change anything, as Christians, we should at least change our family values. The old ones weren’t so bad after all.

Were they?