Short
Testimony
I went through a sudden attack of doubt recently. One of the
questions I asked myself was this – ‘Why can I not praise and worship with complete abandon – as many others do?’
Another was this – ‘Why, when I was very first saved all those years ago, did I
feel no joy of my salvation?’
On this last Sunday, we were leading the ushering team. We
really enjoy and look forward to our rota doing this as we get to stand at the
back where there is some proper space in which to worship. I mean, I am over 6
feet tall and when I spread my arms in the usual seats, I can clunk anyone
around me. At the back, however, there is room to spread out – albeit while
watching what is going on. Suddenly, I see Jesus and He is calling me over to
Him. My wife always talks about ‘dancing with Jesus’, but this is something I
have never experienced. I cannot let go and abandon self like that. I am a big
lump and I always imagine me making a complete idiot of myself if I just let it
all go.
Jesus is beckoning and I tentatively take a few steps towards
Him. I know what is about to happen. I start dancing with Him. I cannot believe I am doing this !!! I start
to weep tears of joy. I cannot explain how I feel – I just know I started
dancing with my Lord. It stopped soon enough but I want more. I want to do it
again – and again – and again. My wife noticed my tears and asked about it. I
could not even begin to explain – but she ‘guessed’!! Suddenly I was needed for
catching duties and I followed Pastor along the line – laying people gently
down as the Spirit caught up with them.
I cannot begin to explain the sheer joy of dancing in the
Spirit with the Lord. I know I will be doing it again, and soon. I will let go
more and more until . . . . . well, until I let go and let Him.
As for the joy of my salvation – that’s for another day, but
that is coming soon too. I have done the holy laughter thing but I know this
will be different.
Can’t wait . . . . .
We can depend on Him - not on our feelings.
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