Thursday, 28 March 2013

Short Testimony



Short Testimony

I went through a sudden attack of doubt recently. One of the questions I asked myself was this – ‘Why can I not praise and worship  with complete abandon – as many others do?’ Another was this – ‘Why, when I was very first saved all those years ago, did I feel no joy of my salvation?’

On this last Sunday, we were leading the ushering team. We really enjoy and look forward to our rota doing this as we get to stand at the back where there is some proper space in which to worship. I mean, I am over 6 feet tall and when I spread my arms in the usual seats, I can clunk anyone around me. At the back, however, there is room to spread out – albeit while watching what is going on. Suddenly, I see Jesus and He is calling me over to Him. My wife always talks about ‘dancing with Jesus’, but this is something I have never experienced. I cannot let go and abandon self like that. I am a big lump and I always imagine me making a complete idiot of myself if I just let it all go.

Jesus is beckoning and I tentatively take a few steps towards Him. I know what is about to happen. I start dancing with Him.  I cannot believe I am doing this !!! I start to weep tears of joy. I cannot explain how I feel – I just know I started dancing with my Lord. It stopped soon enough but I want more. I want to do it again – and again – and again. My wife noticed my tears and asked about it. I could not even begin to explain – but she ‘guessed’!! Suddenly I was needed for catching duties and I followed Pastor along the line – laying people gently down as the Spirit caught up with them.

I cannot begin to explain the sheer joy of dancing in the Spirit with the Lord. I know I will be doing it again, and soon. I will let go more and more until . . . . . well, until I let go and let Him.

As for the joy of my salvation – that’s for another day, but that is coming soon too. I have done the holy laughter thing but I know this will be different.

Can’t wait . . . . .

1 comment: